Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
