And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
