this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
