it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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