i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
