WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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