Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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