my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
