Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
me + whiskey = a bad person
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
