it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
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It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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