rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
