He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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