Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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