I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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