So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
