I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
