i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
