When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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