who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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