Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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