hotel room ftw
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
