I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
