Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
