Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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