he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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