Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
