So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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