Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What a dumb baby whore.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
