He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
this just has baby written all over it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
A bitchslap is in order.
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