why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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