Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
