He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
