Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
