I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize