I want to stick my p in your. b.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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