rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
