i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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