I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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