Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
