i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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