You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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