she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
