she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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