There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
