porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Floor bacon is actually really good
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
