i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
