big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i wish my penis had a tongue
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
