There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
