yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
