Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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