i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
