I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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