Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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