At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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