What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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