So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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