just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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