I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize