Dual....:-)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
