maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
